Why so serious?
I don’t know how to start. Back then, I wish my life would be something different from others; I wanted my life to have some spice, a little drama, or something that is unusual. You know the saying “be careful what you wish for” . Now I believe it. I’m just an ordinary girl who wanted to write forever. They say that writers have the most influential life of all, I didn’t believe it, ofcourse, ‘cause if I’ll do believe this, I’ll be sorted out on the writers lists. But as I go deeper on what is currently happening to my life. I could say that I am really a writer, not by choice but by heart. I write non-fiction, “story-tellers” as un-educated people call us. I write stories beyond ordinary person could think of. I do not have any degree in any course-related-writing-crap, but this is what I wanted to be. And I stand proud of it.
I dreamed of having a true family. With a skin, blood, and heart of a human. I thought I had it or have it, but now I don’t know. Feels like I am imprisoned by something I don’t know. I didn’t even know from which side I really am. Should I stick to the “current” and help them through out, not leaving their side for they are the one who had been there with me all along? Or should I just run away, escape, have a better life I always dreamed of, take time to know “the past” so I’ll be able to learn things about them, learn to love them deeper and forget who I was back then where they left me? Or should I just dissolve from everything under the circumstances of these I-wish-just-fictitious things that’s been happening to me? Could I really live by not choosing? Is running away from both sides would make my life even better? If I choose the last thing, will I be able to find myself without the control and brainwash of others? I wanted to hurt no one. I wanted to express my self which I’m never good at. At least I’m trying. Is there even someone who believes that I could write? Or just because they’re my friends, they should not bail on me? I don’t know. Hear my heart. Please?
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.
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